A few times during this hike I were actually thinking about quitting. I asked myself why I were out there alone, especially on my birthday. Why didn’t I celebrate it with my friends? Why do I wanna spend so much time alone? What am I trying to hide from? What am I trying to avoid? At one point I said to myself that I need to spend more time with people, I need to talk more to people, so I almost decided that in the end of that day I would call my friend and ask her to pick me up. But then just a few minutes later I arrived to a magical lake, went for a swim and were sitting there just thinking again. And I realised the reason why I am alone out in the nature so much. There is few times in my life where I feel a strong connection to people, when I feel that someone understand me and the way I think. I do have really good friends that I love spending time with, to have conversations with, to talk about life with. But even how long you have known each other for, even how much you have to talk about, even if you know you can talk with them about absolutely everything, after I while I just feel like I wanna be alone. Being in the nature gives me a freedom where I don’t have to think about anything, I can just be. Just breathe, relax. Just sit and stare and let thoughts and feelings flow through my body. I have always had problems with just sitting still, to concentrate on a movie, or a teacher in school, but in the nature I can sit and just stare at a mountain or the water or whatever for hours, without feeling I have to be somewhere else. I feel peace inside. I feel like I belong. That the nature understand me without having to explain myself.
This day I walked past an abandon house, out in absolutely nowhere. First I didn’t even really see it cause the trees had grown around and where kind of hiding it. I got so curious about the people who had lived like this, when did they live here, what did they do, who were they? But I could totally understand why they were living so far away from society. I didn’t even see a road anywhere around, only the little path I was walking on. There were still things inside of the house and I just wanted to take off my backpack and spend hours in there trying to understand the life they were living. I found a newspaper on the floor from the 9th of December 1978 and I was wondering if that was the time they abandoned the house. Are they maybe still alive? I was surprised how I house could just be left like this without anyone taking care of it. So many questions in my head, and no answers.
Every day when I were planning my route and where to end up for the day it was important to know where I could find a lake, to go for a swim or in the end of the day put up my tent next to it. Today was probably the warmest day during my hike, and I was so hot, tired and sweaty and just wanted to cool down my body after been walking for hours. I were looking at the map and saw a lake that wouldn't be too far away and continued walking. After a while I was reading the map again to find out where I was, and realised I had passed it a while ago, annoying. I continued and were walking through such a cute little village, every house had its own name, and there were lovely gardens and horses and just like an own world there. I wanted to move in to every house I saw! Then my feet told me they refused to take one more step and that I needed a break, so I found a little bit of shade under a tree on the grass, were laying down and fell asleep.
I had a little plan of where I wanted to stay the night tonight, I had seen a lake on the map were I thought would be good, and where it would be possible to see the sunrise the next morning. I was walking around trying to find a way to get down to the lake but it was impossible. So after a while I decided to knock on the door at a yellow house next to the road and ask if it was possible to get down to the lake and if I was allowed to put up my tent there. The guy who opened were such a nice guy and told me about how he had been hiking in places like Grand Canyon, Italy, north of Sweden and a lot of other places I don’t even remember now. His next destination were Peru. I asked him about the lake, and instead he recommended me to continue walking a little bit further where I would arrive to another lake, where it was a shelter to sleep in. And he said “That is the most beautiful place in Europe, and I have been to places!”. I were laughing for myself, but took his advice, said thanks and kept on walking. I arrived when the sun was just about to set and again I was sitting on a rock and did just absorb the energy and beauty from the universe. When the sun had set there were still this layer of colours just above the horizon that kept on lighten up the sky. I got into my sleeping bag in the shelter but I just didn't want to fall asleep, I couldn’t stop looking at the incredible sky. After a while I fell asleep, but a few hours later I woke up in the middle of the night, and then there was a big beautiful full moon, and the sky had still this layer of colours above the horizon and it was still so bright outside from the light of the full moon. I am so grateful I knocked on that door and met that guy, because honestly just like he said, this place is one of the most magical places I have been to in the world!
